Over the past couple weeks of doing care point ministry in Africa, I’ve gotten to know a five year old named Nonhle. Everyday I look forward to seeing her. As soon as we get out of the van, she’ll run into my arms, and I’ll get to hold her. She’ll sit in my lap all day, we’ll run around the playground together, and she’ll laugh as I tickle her. Sometimes, though, she’ll be overwhelmed with worry and jealousy. Nonhle will look at her friend Petile and what she is doing with her friends; she’ll try to copy her. Nonhle will make sure she’s having just as good of a time, if not better. She gets worried when there’s a threat to her spot in my lap, and sit and pout if I let someone else play with my hair. It’s easy to feel left out in the big group of children, or to feel like the love that’s been given can so easily be taken away. She’s sat in my lap everyday, but only once has she fallen asleep. She can’t rest when she’s sitting in worry.
God has taught me a lot of lessons through Nonhle. He was teaching me how, a lot of the time, in act like her in reference to him. He on holding me so well and as I sit in his lap, I tend to have my eyes fixed on what everyone is doing. My mind is so worried that the comfort I am feeling will soon be taken away. So I sit anxiously in the arms of the father.
He has taught me that when something doesn’t go my way, there are times that I’ll basically walk away to sit and pout. I need to work through things and process, but I’ll forget to invite him in my processing. There are times when I’m able to cry in his arms and other times when I’ll chose to sit away and stare at him smiling at me. He wants to give me a big hug. He wants to give me all the kisses, but when I chose bitterness instead of life, he’ll wait. He wants me to be close, but he’s also a good father, so he knows when it’s time to grab me or when to wait. How will I learn to run to him if I didn’t have the opportunity?
One of the biggest thing I’ve been learning here in Africa is how to rest while he’s protecting me. Being a five year old in a care point is a hard thing. You’re only one out of the hundred cute kids. To make it harder, you are small so it’s easy for you to get picked on. As Nonhle sits in my lap, she’ll get poked and pulled at. Other kids might even start whispering lies in her ears. They’ll tell her that I’m tired of her, and that she shouldn’t sit with me. As Nonhle hears these lies, I will do my best to stop the older kids from hurting and making fun of her. In the same way, I hear lies that God could possibly be tired of me and that I take too much energy. Through it all, God is so good. He’ll do all the work while is just sit. God takes so much better care of us than we do for each other. He teaches me to rest in the midst of attack. That’s what it talks about in Psalms 23, “you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” He gives us little things to do, but ultimately he is doing all the work, and continues to say I am holding you. You can rest.
